Under your wings
by TheYanini
Summary: When Neji and Shikamaru slowly fall for each other the Hyuuga clan's strict rules make any sort of relationship impossible. How far will Shikamaru go to fight for Neji? Will Neji break under the loneliness and the cruelty his clan inflicts on him? A love story. Mentions of sexual abuse and character death.
1. Chapter 1

Hello and welcome to this story for all you hardcore ShikaNeji fans out there! Hope there' still a few around!

Summary:

When Neji and Shikamaru slowly fall for each other the Hyuuga clan's strict rules make any sort of relationship impossible. How far will Shikamaru go to fight for Neji? Will Neji break under the loneliness and the cruelty his clan inflicts on him? A love story.

Mentions of sexual abuse and character death.

Under your wings

Chapter One

Shikamaru wasn't quite sure when he noticed Neji for the first time. Of course he'd technically known the Hyuuga since their academy days, thought it had been Hinata who had been in his class, not Neji who was one year older than them. But her cousin had made a name for himself early on. Everyone had known of the 'young Hyuuga genius' even then. Nobody was as talented, as smart, as fast a learner.

But even though Shikamaru had always known who Hyuuga Neji was, he'd never really noticed him. He could not remember either of the young Hyuuga's ever spending any time around their peers, couldn't remember them playing as kids or even just seeing them outside of school.

And while Hinata was quiet and shy, she had been well- liked by all her classmates. Neji however… Neji was just silent. Outright hostile if provoked but mostly just silent. Almost non- existent.

Shikamaru realized how remarkably inconspicuous Neji was only much later, after the whole commotion after his and Hinata's fight during the Chunin exams and the whole bothersome Sasuke thing had died down again and Neji had quickly reverted back to giving the whole world the silent treatment. He did however start to show up to some of the overall team events, like the Cherry blossom viewing everyone did in spring, or a winter BBQ event Chouji had organized with great enthusiasm.

Surely his teammates, TenTen and Rock Lee, had dragged the silent Hyuuga along but still… he was there.

It was at the winter BBQ that Shikamaru had somehow taken more notice of his presence than normal. He was, of course, mostly silent, only exchanged occasional words with his teammates or an exuberant Naruto who either didn't notice the almost visible barrier around the personal space of the Hyuuga genius or decided to bravely ignore it.

But Shikamaru noticed that he did not seem to hate being there at least. He didn't chatter or smile or… interact at all but he seemed calm and content. His good manners were showing at all times even when out for BBQ with his peers and he ate like he was having dinner with the Hokage; small bites, no mess, no spilling his drink and somehow he even managed to keep his long hair out of his food that he had taken to wearing mostly open now, only tying a very low ponytail down his back.

Being the capable Shinobi that he was Neji had felt himself being stared at and looked up, meeting Shikamaru's gaze straight on. The Nara was already thinking of an excuse of why he'd been staring for the inevitable frown and possible confrontation - but Neji just gave a court nod and went back to his food.

Dumbfounded Shikamaru had gone back to concentrating on his own meal but found himself looking at the other boy several more times during the evening.

The next time he remembered really noticing Neji was on a mission. Together with Kiba and Sakura they had been sent to take out some rogue ninjas near the border to Suna that were raiding villages, killing several civilians in their way. It had turned from a simple enough mission into an absolute shit fest within just a few hours. The enemy was a lot stronger than expected, several individuals had strong Kekke Genkais and there were a lot more foot soldier type henchmen than they had been aware of.

Shikamaru's chakra had depleted quickly since he had to use his shadow techniques a lot more than he intended to and within just an hour or so of battle in the dense forest they had lured the enemy into, his strength was beginning to fade fast.

Jumping out of the way of Kiba and his dog companion Akamaru who were spinning past at break neck speed he found himself within the reach of a clone of one of the enemy ninja that manifested behind him in a puff of smoke.

Knowing that he would not be able to get enough momentum to jump out of the way of the Kunai the masked man was about to launch at him he readied his shadows, stretched then as far as possible - but his chakra was weakened so much that the shadow he formed moved to slow, not fast or far enough to hinder the attack! Shikamaru instinctively raised his arms in front of his face to stop the kunai from boring straight into his skull.

With the softest sound Neji landed in front of him, a flutter of white robes and long black hair that seemed almost weightless. A graceful gesture later the kunai was lodged in the bark of a tree right behind the Nara and the enemy stumbled and clutched at his chest after being on the receiving end of Neji's Kekke Genkai.

Before the Nara could utter a word of thanks Neji disappeared in a flutter of black and white.

The next time they met was about a month later, when winter was on its way out but the air was still cold and the trees were still bare.

Shikamaru had just left for the Hokage's office with an armful of books and documents he had been reading over the last few days and the extensive notes and suggestions he had made based on them. He didn't really want to complain too much about the Hokage having a lot of faith in him and requesting his input on strategic matters because he actually did kind of appreciate it. Strategy was his thing, after all, and working more directly under the Hokage was probably a great career move for him - if only it involved less work though! It wasn't like he wasn't assigned fewer missions or anything! He was just expected to juggle reading several books and files and coming up with all sorts of scenarios and solutions a week on top of everything else. Maybe he should have listened to his mother after all and taken a path towards medicine…. Then again that was probably just as much work plus involved the grossness factor of having to put up with all sorts of disgusting illnesses. Urgh.

He didn't even attempt to hide his big yawn as he pushed open the door to the town hall and shifted the weight of his cargo to have a hand free. One of the scrolls slowly rolled of the heap of books and document folders and landed on the ground with a quiet thud.

"Damnit" he cursed, awkwardly bending down without dropping any more stuff.

A pale slender had appeared in his field of vision, picking of the scroll of lifting it. His eyes met the opaque gaze of Hyuuga Neji. The black haired male wordlessly handed him the scroll.

"Thanks." Shikamaru said, putting the scroll back on top of his staple.

"You're welcome." Neji said and made to move on but eyed Shikamaru's cargo.

"Would you like some help?" he offered and Shikamaru was almost taken aback. He couldn't remember the aloof dark haired beauty ever offering help to anyone. He wasn't going to flatter himself but as small as the gesture was it seemed almost... special.

"Yeah, sure... If you don't mind."

Neji wordlessly helped him bring the heap of scrolls upstairs and into the Hokage's office. He regretted having dragged Neji into this instantly when he heard the Hokage's loud brash voice before he had even fully entered her office.

"Shikamaru, finally! Oh and Neji, very good. While you're both here I need you to do something for me."

Doing something for her ended basically doing her paperwork. A lot of it. Shikamaru was mortified when after an hour they were still not quite done.

"Hey, uhm…. Would you like to grab some dinner after this? As an apology for dragging you into this?"

Neji seemed to hesitate for a moment.

"It's fine if…you're too busy." Shikamaru added, choosing the word 'busy' rather than saying 'It's fine if you don't want to'. Of course he'd said that to give Neji a way to politely decline the offer without insinuating anything. Not because it would be… hurtful… if Neji admitted that he did not want to waste even one dinner on him.

"I'm not too busy." Neji concluded after a moment that came very close to an awkward silence.

"Where did you want to go?"

"Well, there's always Ichiraku's… but if you'd prefer somewhere quieter, there's a little teahouse not far from here that I like."

"I would prefer the latter."

"I heard you're working hard towards a promotion to Jounin already." Shikamaru mentioned pretending not too sound too interested in Neji's private life.

"I am, of course. Aren't you?"

"Eeh… " Shikamaru said uninterestedly. "I'm not really in a hurry."

"How come?"

"I'm busy enough with all the stuff the Hokage wants me to do for her at the moment. If I make Jounin she'll probably try to force a Genin team on me too, which would be way too troublesome anyway."

"Only the most capable Jounin can become teachers so it's seen as an honour."

"I mean - I guess that's true but… "

"Wouldn't…." Neji halted for a moment as if unsure whether he could really ask the next question. "Wouldn't your parents expect it of you as heir to your Clan?"

Shikamaru smiled warily. "I guess they wouldn't mind but they know I've no ambition to become a teacher right now. I think they don't really care too much what I do as long as I don't slack off too much… I could have specialized in medicine too, if I had wanted that but it would have been…"

"Too troublesome?"

"Yeah."

They took a few bites in silence before Shikamaru's curiosity won.

"What about you?"

Neji looked down at the table for a moment.

"I guess it's different for me. Being a branch member of my clan."

Shikamaru took a sip from his cup, sensing that they were about to delve further into Neji's world than ever before.

"How so?"

"I'm expected to become a Jounin. After that… it depends on what the clan elders want. I might just be made a guard to Hinata-sama. "

"I'm sorry, it might be too forward of me to ask…" the Nara started, for once remembering his manners. "I'm just curious. If it was up to you… what would you want to do?"

Neji stared at him. Nobody had ever asked him such a question. He was never asked much of anything at all.. He was_ ordered._ If anything, he was informed of accomplished facts, none of which required his opinion.

"I guess… maybe ANBU. But I don't think that I would be allowed to pursue that path as it would take me away from the village too much. That's not really what the norm is for a branch member."

'ANBU, huh? Shikamaru thought to himself. How rebellious.'

"Well, I'm sure you'll be brilliant at whatever you'll end up doing."

Shikamaru nearly cringed at his own words (where had that even come from?) but seeing Neji's tiny smile made it worth the embarrassment.

After that spontaneous meeting Shikamaru and Neji started running into each other just a little bit more often.

Hyuuga Hiroto was a main branch member. The kind that liked to let others feel that he was their superior. All branch members quickly scattered when Hiroto stepped into the courtyard of the Hyuuga compound, pretending to be busy or needed elsewhere. Hiroto had a habit of reminding branch members of their status publicly, verbally at best, with help of the seal at worst.

Neji avoided him as best as he could but as to be expected the proud Hyuuga branch member was Hiroto's favourite target. Even if they didn't meet more than once a month or so, whenever they did Neji was left seething and hurt.

Neji spotted him entering the courtyard where he had been doing some light training with Hanabi. He immediately lowered his eyes, trying not to attract the elders' attention.

"Let's try one more time, Hanabi-sama", he instructed his younger cousin gently "But move your hands more like-"

"Neji."

The young man refrained from rolling his eyes in annoyance as to be spared the humiliation of having his seal activated out in the open in the middle of the day.

"Yes, Hiroto-sama."

Hiroto's face remained cold and impassive.

"Come with me, I have a job for you to do."

"Yes, Hiroto-sama."

"Well, Neji." Hiroto started as they walked back into the main part of the compound. "It seems your first Omiai is coming up soon. Hiashi seems to think that you're worth the trouble. Personally, I'm not convinced that you are".

Hiroto opened a door that Neji with some dread realized led to an almost unused storage room. He was ushered in and the door slammed shut behind Hiroto. The room was fairly dark and the bit of sun coming through the closed shutters hit the strong contours of Hiroto's face, making him look vicious and predatory.

"I saw you hanging around that Nara boy."

Neji's stomach dropped.

"Would you care to elaborate what relationship you have with him?

"I don't have _any_-"

"Liar. Your uncle appears to think that you are sticking to the rules, but I saw how you looked at that boy. And I don't believe that there is nothing going on."

He grabbed Neji's hair viciously.

"I know exactly what you've been up to, you little bitch. Did you enjoy dishonouring your clan at least?"

The pull on his hair was painful but even more so was the humiliation of the action. Neji tried desperate to keep his nerves steady, to keep it together until the man would let him go after 'putting him in his place'.

"I don't think you're worth wasting time with arranging Omiais. But maybe you can redeem yourself in a different way."

Now Neji struggled to get away, heatedly wishing that he could shut down the elder's chakra points and maybe claw his eyes out for good measure but trying - trying so hard- to control himself and not provoke a seal activation. If that happened there was no way he could protect himself from whatever was to come.

Why were men always so horrible to him? Why was it, that if anyone showed any interest in him, it was always disgusting, aggressive barbarians like that?

Hiroto tried to force his head closer to the middle of his body but Neji clawed at his hands with as much force as he could, actually breaking skin.

Hiroto lost his patience then, struck him hard across the face several times, then dropped him onto the ground hard and activated the cursed seal. Neji's vision exploded in white hot pain and he passed out after just a minute of torture.

Neji woke up with a splitting headache. He was disoriented for a moment, the daylight coming through the window brightly, sending a wave of stinging ache through his brain.

He could hear steps softly padding on the tatami floor and assumed it was Hinata who thoughtfully closed the blinds to lessen his pain a bit.

"Neji-Nii-san" she called him softly, speaking quietly as to not hurt him more. Sadly, this was not the first time she had seen him like that, although it didn't happen all too often, it was still a shock whenever it did happen.

"Hinata-sama" he croaked, his throat feeling sore. Had he been screaming before he'd passed out? He couldn't remember. Hinata was already by his side with a glass of water, gently helping him drink a few sips.

"How long was I….?"

"Almost 24 hours. Father was not happy he had to postpone your Omiai."

"Who found me?"

"Hanabi did."

"…"

"She said that Hiroto-sama activated the seal on you."

Neji knew that his sweet innocent cousins hadn't made the connection to Hiroto-sama having a sexual motive yet. He couldn't bring himself to tell them either.

"…"

"I think she came at just the right moment to prevent you from being seriously hurt."

"…"

"Nii-san, I… I'm sorry that this happened. I haven't told father about it because I didn't think you would want that. But I want to help you. I don't want this to happen to you again." Her voice was a little shaky but she wasn't crying.

"I will work hard. If father officially names me as the heiress I will be able to help you. I can tell him to leave you alone."

"It's not your responsibility, Hinata-sama."

"I'm on your side, Nii-San. I'll do my best for you, I promise."

Neji just nodded, not trusting himself to say anything more.

In the few weeks following his encounter with Hiroto-sama Neji tried to limit his time seeing Shikamaru. Not because he was tired of seeing the other boy but because his heart would give an uncomfortable squeeze every time he did. He could feel it, a wall of intense confusing feelings that would come tumbling down like an avalanche and bury all his reason underneath it.

He tried to keep it all under wraps and shield his expressions from betraying his complicated feelings. It was simple self-preservation, Neji thought. If he wasn't so close to the other boy then he wouldn't be tortured by the seal activation or the blossoming feeling of longing in his chest.

Unfortunately the Nara boy did not seem to notice.

And one day Shikamaru asked the inevitable, when they were walking home from having tea together in that same little tea house.

"Hey...I'm sorry if I'm being too forward but..."

Neji could see he was steeling himself with a deep breath for his next words and Neji just wished he _wouldn't_.

"I uhm... I've been really enjoying the time we spent together recently and... I apologize if I misinterpreted this whole thing but I if you would like to, I uhm... I would like to ask you out on a date on Saturday."

It was the best and worst thing that Shikamaru could have possibly said. Neji felt an adrenaline surge shoot through his blood that made him want to bolt and not have to face this. But it wasn't fair to hurt Shikamaru's feeling and he had to give him a proper answer, even if it wasn't what the other man wanted to hear.

"I… I can't." Neji hesitated, his glance quickly darting to the ground. His head felt like it was spinning.

"I'm sorry".

Shikamaru kept looking at him to see if Neji would offer more of an explanation but the boy was silent and refused to meet his eyes.

Shikamaru sighed. "It's ok…"

Had he really misinterpreted the signals? Were the fleeting glances and careful smiles just the Hyuuga's way of being friendly?

"It's not because of you." Neji added, perhaps a little bit rushed. "It's just…"He glanced up, finally meeting Shikamaru's eyes. "We're not allowed to date… neither me nor my cousins."

"It's a clan rule..." he added softly after seeing the other boy's sceptical expression. "It's expected that we go to properly arranged Omiais and marry someone of the Clan's choosing."

Neji absently glanced up as a flock of white birds flew past over them.

"I don't have the freedom to say yes to your proposition…" He said quietly. "But I thank you for it. I... I really appreciate it."

He felt terrible for both of them having to say those words. Shikamaru was so brave to confess to him like this but Neji was a Hyuuga branch member. There really was nothing he could give the other boy that wouldn't end in suffering for them both.

The words simultaneously stung and relieved Shikamaru. Neji hadn't said 'I just don't like you in that way' which was better than having been rejected on account of who or how he was. Though wasn't this maybe even worse? That the Hyuuga clan rules were robbing Neji of this elemental freedom that most of their generation had and took for granted?

"I have to ask..." Shikamaru started, gathering his courage and a deep breath for the only question that mattered now. "Would you have said yes if it was up to you?"

Neji hesitated a moment to ponder the question. What would be less hurtful? To answer "yes" and admit to Shikamaru that there may have been a chance and possibly leading him on or to answer "no" and hurt his feelings?

It was Neji's turn to sigh dejectedly.

"Yes." he said softly. "I would have said yes. I'm sorry that I can't."

With that he turned to continue on his way, leaving Shikamaru behind without glancing back.

The next few days brought a cold wind into Konoha that carried dark clouds heavy with rain. It fit Shikamaru's mood nicely. He was slumped half sitting half lying down in front of his bed, a half played and long forgotten game of Shogi in front of him. It was the unfairness of the situation that was unbearable. Perhaps it would have been better if Neji rejected him for him and not because of a stupid old-fashioned clan rule. He couldn't help but wonder… who would his uncle introduce him to in his Omiais? Would they be Hyuuga clansmen, cold and with no feelings for Neji, only obeying the Clan's orders? Would they make sure to marry him off to a main branch member to keep him under control? Or would it be a complete stranger?

The thought seemed so foreign to Shikamaru. While he was the heir to one of the oldest Clans in Konoha and his parents would certainly try and find him a match in the form of an Omiai as well, they wouldn't actually force him to marry someone he didn't want. Firstly because they knew he was not the most charismatic or the most agreeable man around and forcing him would only lead to a bitter divorce - but also because they had always valued his opinion enough to let him make his own choices. They supported him in just about anything he did, little as that was. Sure, his mother nagged him about all sorts of things but never force anything that would alter the course of his life. It was more the 'clean your damn room' kind of nagging he got.

Shikamaru suddenly had a newfound appreciation for his parent's comparatively progressive views.

But Neji - all young Hyuugas?- had to bow to the complexity of the clans rules that dictated everything from what they wore to who they had to marry. The thought left him feeling almost sick. What a strange thought, Neji being introduced to a stranger in an Omiai, going through a wedding ceremony with someone he hardly knew, spending their wedding ni- No. No. No. He would not imagine that. He wouldn't even think it.

Suddenly he felt oddly dirty, thinking of Neji in that way, like he had just invaded the other boy's privacy in a way that was not okay. Like Neji would resent him for it if he knew. Would he? He rubbed his eyes with both hands, smoothed back his dark hair that had deteriorated into an even messier ponytail than usual and got to his feet. There was no point sitting around moping. He would go find a distraction. Surely Chouji's company would be able to take his mind off of things.

As always, Chouji's cheerful demeanour made him feel better. Getting distracted with snacks also helped a bit and his dark mood lifted for a while.

Until Chouji said "I'll be going to a cousin's wedding next week." and he was reminded of the current situation.

"That's nice", he forced himself to say.

"Yeah, I think it's going to be good. She went to school with this guy and all, so it'll be pretty relaxed I think. I don't like these really stuffy ceremonies."

"Yeah… me neither".

"Are you okay?" Chouji asked, noticing an edge to his friend's tone. Unusual for Shikamaru, especially about a topic such as this. Lazy complacency would have been expected but Shikamaru almost sounded…angry?

"Yeah, sure."

"Is something going on?"

"No."

"You can tell me."

"There's nothing to say."

"I don't believe you. I can tell when something's bothering you."

"I'm not-"

"Did you have a fight with your parents?"

"No."

"Ino?"

"No."

"Asuma-sensei?"

"What? No."

Chouji studied him intently for a moment in a way that Shikamaru really did not appreciate.

"Are you… lovesick or something?"

Shikamaru just stared at him. How on earth could this guy read him so damn well?

"Don't be ridiculous." He countered instead. "Look, I better go, Dad wanted me to help out with the deer and it looks like it going to rain soon".

Being the observant friend that Chouji was he noticed that his friend had not even once looked in the direction of the window.

"Sure, no problem", he said amiably. "I'm going to be on a mission for a couple days but I'll come visit once I'm back".

"Yeah, cool. See you then."

Chouji stared at his friend as he got up and left.

'Interesting….'


	2. Chapter 2

Thanks everybody for the lovely reviews This story should be about 6 chapters long and most of it is already written out and just needs some editing and fine tuning

Chapter Two

Yoshino Nara had fought hard to get her son to wear a proper outfit for his first Omiai. It had been a struggle but her boy was wearing a dark green Haori with the Nara crest on the back, a plain white Hakama underneath and black trousers. He really did look the part of a Clan heir all dressed up like this. Handsome too, if but for his eternal slouch that she kept on hitting him in the back for so he would straighten up for god's sake.

Shikamaru was indifferent to the whole Omiai thing and had no intention to actually go through with anything if he was honest. Omiais were kind of a formality amongst the bigger clans and while he couldn't care less about what other people thought of him if he straight out refused any Omiais, his mother would be embarrassed on his part and make a whole big thing out of it all.

So the easiest thing to do was tag along, exchange the necessary pleasantries with whomever he was supposed to meet and then politely say "No, thank you." once it was all said and done.

The stuffy clothes were annoying, having to get up before noon was annoying and having to pretend to be happy to see someone he'd never met was the most annoying thing of all. But he'd play the game, do the absolute minimum he could get away with and go back to bed straight after.

The one thing he had not calculated in was running into a certain someone on the way.

Hinata was chatting happily walking next to her cousin, a paper bag filled with groceries that she must have bought at the market in her hand, oblivious to her classmate's presence.

Neji's light eyes bored into his the moment he spotted him. Shikamaru knew that Neji must have assumed straight away that he was on the way to an Omiai - there wasn't really any reason for the boy and his parents to be dressed in their best clothes on a regular day. What Shikamaru hadn't anticipated was the opaque eyes widening in what seemed to be surprise, then abruptly avert their gaze and avoid him.

He had a sudden impulse to go over to his…friend (?) but he was ushered along by his parents. Besides, what would he say?

'It's not what it looks like'?

'This doesn't mean anything to me'?

He didn't even know if Neji liked him at all. The odds were certainly against him. Neji, proper Neji with his noble upbringing and knack for etiquette and crazy ambition would surely want a partner with similar views on these things. In fact, his Clan would choose a husband for him and that would be that. And Shikamaru, though not too humble to admit that he was an asset to the village and good at what he did, was probably not what the holier-than-though Hyuugas would seem suitable. Plus, Neji had made it very clear that he could not even go on a date with anyone due to his Clan's rules, even if he would have been prepared to let Shikamaru take him out for dinner or something. He had let him down kindly and had then proceeded to ignore Shikamaru since then so surely, in Neji's eyes the matter was over and done with.

But then why that reaction from Neji? And why did this feeling of dread resonate within himself so strongly, spreading in his chest like wildfire?

The Omiai didn't go very well after that. Shikamaru didn't feel like talking to the poor girl and didn't even make the effort to remember her name. She'd been nice enough, pretty but not flashy and of a quiet nature that Shikamaru may have even appreciated in a better mood.

But all he could think of where the white eyes that had avoided him.

To say that Neji was unpopular with the main house was an understatement.

They actively loathed his very existence.

To say that he didn't understand why would have been a lie.

Mostly it was because he had openly rebelled during the Chunin exams and openly attacked Hinata to the point that a referee had to stop the fight. It wasn't only the attack itself. He had said too much, made his anger towards his clan publicly known. And it was not his place to criticize. As a branch member, he was barely more than a servant within his clan. And the only reason why he hadn't suffered fatal consequences for this level of disrespect was because of his uncle. It was only thanks to his direct relation to Hyuuga Hiashi, his own young age and his uncles' guilt over his father's death that he was still alive.

Hiashi had promised the clan elders that he would personally see to it that Neji become more obedient and never dishonour the clan ever again. And Neji, after a stern lecture from his uncle had accepted his fate. The fact that some of the clan elders had ambushed him and activated his seal until he passed out from the pain may have also had something to do with it.

Having the seal sear your brain was the worst kind of pain. Nothing else compared to it. No wound that had ever been inflicted on him - not even the horrendous, scarring flesh wounds Kidomarou had caused- had been as unbearable as the seal being activated. It was as if his skull was cracking open, as if his brain was on fire… as if his eyes were about to burst out of their sockets.

The next day he had been alive but more miserable than ever before. The pain in his head lingered on for another two days, a dull throbbing that reminded him of his place in life. Even his wounded pride could not sting with the same ferocity.

He had accepted his fate.

He knew what was expected of him and what was coming. It was nothing new.

But the thought of his first Omiai was making his stomach churn. His uncle hadn't even mentioned who he was meeting, only that there was to be an Omiai the day after tomorrow and that he make sure his best Kimono was pressed and presentable until then.

So he had gone and brought his ceremonial outfit to the clan's preferred launderer, handed over the garments to be cleaned and pressed and turned to make his way back home. He felt strange. As if handing over the garments had somehow meant he was giving up something. An Omiai did not automatically mean that there was going to be an engagement but still… he felt… apprehensive? What if his uncle decided that his first Omiai was also going to be his last and found whatever suitor he'd invited suitable enough for his nephew?

He thought left him cold. Empty. Sad.

If his father had been born only minutes earlier he would not have to worry so much. He would have had more of a say. His opinion would have been valued more and he would not feel as if one word spoken by his uncle could destroy the rest of his life.

He wouldn't feel so helpless.

He wouldn't feel so worthless.

Neji forced himself to keep his face impassive and emotionless but he could feel the emotions simmer hotly under the surface. Things could have been so different.

"You have to be quick now, Nii-san, there's only an hour before your Omiai." were Hinata's kind words that woke him late the next morning. Neji threw his hands to his face in desperation. That damn Omiai. God, he hated this all so much.

He took a deep breath and steeled himself. If he was going to do this, he was going to appear strong and proud. He would not crumble.

"Hinata-sama, would you go to the cleaners to get my clothes for me? I need to take a bath."

The Omiai was very traditional. Hiashi as Neji's closest relative was present in his fathers' stead. An odd constellation that perhaps portrayed a closer bond between them then there really was. Neji would probably preferred for him not to be there but of course tradition demanded the father -or substitute- to be present and make the final decision on whether the Neji and the guest would be a good match. It was very strange and if he was honest with himself - completely terrifying to have a man who barely knew him on a personal level decide his fate in this manner.

Their guest were a bureaucrat from the Daimyo's court and his son. The similarities between them were striking; both had thin, haggard looking faces with thin dirty blond hair and the same sly eyes that regarded Neji so intently that he was forced to supress a shiver down his spine.

This type of person he would normally do just about anything to avoid, if not openly scorn them. Neji considered himself fairly good at reading other people and this boy was certainly not one he wanted to get any closer to then he was currently forced to be. Conniving schemers as long as things went well, snivelling cowards when threatened in the slightest. Neji could see in the boy's eyes that he was less interested in Neji prowess as a Shinobi or his intellect but rather saw him as a trophy he could show of to his friends. _'Look, I get myself a Hyuuga!'_

The thought made Neji simultaneously raging with anger and sick to his stomach.

Surely, his uncle would not be so eager to get rid of him that he would just hand him over to the first snivelling idiot who came knocking?

Neji couldn't really tell what his uncles intensions were, his face an impenetrable marble surface which didn't give away a hint of emotion. As head of the Clan, Hiashi asked the necessary questions one was supposed to ask a suitor (Age, occupation, future plans) and Neji became increasingly worried. Yes, on paper the boy's status was impressive enough, if only there wasn't this certainty in Neji that his position was bought or inherited, rather than honestly deserved. He was wealthy, ambitious and of a good family.

If only Neji wasn't so completely and utterly disgusted by him.

"I think it is time we let your son and my nephew exchange a few words in private." Hiashi said after all the questions has been sufficiently answered. It was tradition to give the young suitor just a few unsupervised minutes so they could ask some questions of their own and get to know each other. Neji nearly longed to cling onto Hiashi's Yukata and be dragged away with him but embrarassing the head of clan in front of visitors surely would not help his case so he quickly dispersed his childish longing and stayed seated just where he was as his uncle and the boy's father left the room.

As soon as the door slid shut and two gleeful eyes fixated on him he wished he'd found some sort of excuse.

"So…. A branch member, huh?" asked the boy, a large grin on his face and his posture suddenly slumped with his elbows on the low table. Neji remained kneeling upright.

"Indeed."

"Now, now, no need to be so cold. Everyone knows that Hyuuga branch members are basically just servants. So no need to act all high and mighty."

The boy reached out to touch his hair but Neji moved backwards just enough to stay out of reach.

The boy was on his feet in seconds, rounding the table to get closer to him. Neji tensed but did not move.

"The truth is that your uncle wants to be rid of you. You're causing him too much trouble. You don't know your place."

A hand reached out to touch Neji again, this time less gently, but looking to tangle in his hair. The Hyuuga was on his feet now, too.

"Don't touch me." He hissed, standing defensively.

"You need a husband who can control you." The boy spat, ignoring Neji's words and reaching for him again. He was no shinobi though and had no chance of touching the other boy. Neji was fast.

"You think I can't." he stated, staring at Neji as if to try and read his mind. "You think that because I'm not a shinobi, I can't control you. But you haven't taken into account that the curse seal can be adapted."

"You're lying."

"I can assure you I'm not. You're not the first Hyuuga branch member to marry into my family. Do you think we'd accept you unless we had control over the seal?"

Neji's stomach sank.

"You're surprisingly naïve." laughed the boy, once more coming closer, forcing Neji to circle to low table.

"Now how about you do something nice for me and then I might be inclined to treat you nicely in return?"

His hand quickly made to work on his Hakama, loosening the string in the front.

For a moment Neji was too shocked to say anything. The impudence of this_ boy_ asking such thing of him in his own house and their Omiai nonetheless just stunned him for a moment.

He wasn't quite sure whether he wanted to cry or rage but the boy tried to grab him again so he fluidly moved out of the way of his hands and without any further words, opened the sliding door to the garden and disappeared like a ghost.

They boy had just a moment that straighten his clothes before Hiashi followed by his father stepped back into the room. Hiashi did not inquire as to his nephew's whereabouts and just raised his eyebrow slightly at the open door.

"What do you think, son?" Asked the bureaucrat at his son's gleeful expression.

"I think I relish the challenge, father."

Once the esteemed visitors had left, Neji made it clear to his uncle in no uncertain terms that he would never meet that boy again. Hiashi listened silently quietly to Neji's tirade and admitted that perhaps a more suitable candidate could be found.

An honest man, preferably one with a backbone, that's all Neji wanted. Neji bitterly thought of a certain young man with warm brown eyes, fierce intellect and that pleasant calm demeanour. He promised himself that he would not accept a horrid man-child like the one he was just forced to meet. He wouldn't give in to the pressure of someone like that. He wouldn't.

Hiroto-sama suddenly took more of an interest in him and would appear out of nowhere whenever Neji could not avoid the Clan by hiding in his room. When they were eating - the branch house sitting separated from the main house- he could feel eyes on him, watching him eat. Neji pretended not to notice and would continue to eat in silence. When he was sparing with Hinata or Hanabi in the courtyard Hiroto-sama would look down onto them from the gallery, when they were working on target training in the wooded part behind the Hyuuga complex, he would walk past as if he had reason to be there. Neji knew that he was being followed but once Hinata picked up on it he knew Hiroto-sama had given up on appearing to be subtle altogether.

"It may just be my imagination…" Hinata began, carefully studying her cousin's expression. "But it seems to me that Hiroto-sama has been making an appearance more often recently…"

Neji sighed in defeat and finally told her about his recent indiscretion.

"Nii-San! That's not right, he cannot force you into….!" Her hands made a sweeping motion when she could not seem to find the right word to describe the situation.

"You know there's not much I can do.."

"But surely there must be a rule against behaviour like that."

"There is…for the main house" Neji admitted dejectedly. "The branch family is not officially included in this rule. And anyway, if I was to complain, it would be Hiroto-sama's word against mine. And you know that I would not win a dispute like that."

Hinata paused, her delicate features marred by an uncharacteristical frown.

"I understand Nii-San. I will try to think of something."

Hinata quickly turned out to be a most valuable ally. Pretending to take a sudden interest in the running of the Clan she managed to keep the main house members busy showing her their respective areas of responsibility in great detail. Coincidentally, the responsibilities of Hiroto-sama, which included the monitoring and enforcement of the Clan's internal rules, were of the greatest interest to the young heiress and she managed to redirect a lot of his time and attention to herself in the few weeks following her and Neji's conversation. Whenever Neji would pass by and Hiroto-sama's gaze began to stray towards him, Hinata would make up a flurry of questions to distract him. Being unable to deny the young mistress Hiroto-sama had to grit his teeth in a pretend smile and explain to her whatever she wanted to know.

Neji felt a newfound surge of affection for his cousin who had become his greatest confidant.

Even Hanabi, without having been confided in seemed to sense that something was going on and would help her cousin out by asking him to spar outside the complex whenever Hiroto-sama appeared to be anywhere near.

Another Omiai came and passed just when the cherry blossoms began to open in early spring. It was a boring affair with a quiet boy who was at least a year younger than Neji and seemed rather terrified of him. After the guests had left Neji and Hiashi just shared one glance that made it clear that neither had been very impressed by the young suitor.

And then there was Shikamaru.

Though Neji had resigned himself to not seeking out the Nara heir in private anymore they were still placed on missions together. And Neji could see why. Their respective skills just went perfectly together, each brining something to the battle that the other could not.

Shikamaru had not tried to approach him beyond mission-related matters but Neji could feel his eyes on him whenever his back was turned or he was concentrating on some task. Unlike Hiroto-sama, whose continued staring made Neji feel unsafe and sick to his stomach, Shikamaru's attention gave him a warm, welcome feeling that he savoured as much as possible. One time their fingers touched when the other man handed him a food ration pack and he had felt the pleasant tingle of Shikamaru's warm fingers for the next two hours.

He felt like a complete idiot for it.

Shikamaru flopped down on his bed in a graceless heap.

He had it bad for Neji, that much he knew. And it was the stupidest thing to do - falling in love with someone you couldn't have. "Why does it have to be him?" he asked into the emptiness of his room not expecting an answer. He didn't need one anyway. He liked Neji for a lot of things - his smarts, his strength, his passion, and this subtle sense of humour he had gotten to know over the last few months. The fact that Neji was ridiculously beautiful also didn't hurt of course.

'There must be something I can do.' Shikamaru thought gritting his teeth. The Hyuuga Clan was extremely strict, controlling the lives of it's' members tightly. But it was also an ancient Clan, older than most other Clans in existence and rumoured to be descended directly from Kaguya and her god-like descendants. Surely, in the centuries of it's' existence someone else had wanted to be released from the branch family and found a way?

'There must be a loophole somewhere.' He thought, wondering if Neji would take the chance to get out of the Clan if he could come up with an idea or whether the Clan hierarchies were stronger than whatever Neji felt for him.

He couldn't make the decision for Neji but maybe he could help him level the playing field so that Neji was at least able to make a decision at all. If he was rejected, he would take it like a man and get over it. But giving up outright... ?

Neji was worth trying for.


End file.
